


A man without desire

by shutter_waves_break



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Implied Incest, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-18
Updated: 2013-02-18
Packaged: 2017-11-29 16:43:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/689169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shutter_waves_break/pseuds/shutter_waves_break
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The sun no longer rises as it once did for Jon Snow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A man without desire

**Author's Note:**

> This happened while trying to write my Anders/Mitchell. And because I felt it. I just love Game of Thrones.

I am not a man without dreams or desires. The fire within me burns as brightly as those around me, perhaps even more vivid than one could imagine. But I cannot allow myself the luxury of living in the fantasies I had once as a child. Those days are now gone, and only the black remains. I chose honor above all else: above blood family, above freedom, above choosing a side in an endless battle. I have no side, I only have my brothers. 

But I do dream, and I can desire.

The desire I long for no longer walks in this realm for me to behold. No longer does it rest beneath the wood on a summer evening waiting for the stars to wake in the sky. The sun no longer rises in the east as it once did, full of hope for a life I almost had within my grasp. Now it sets red and bloody on the landscape, never allowing me to forget. 

Wondering if things could have been different does not change the fact they are what they are. I made my choice. I thought myself free. Now my hand, scarred with memory of fire serves to remind me of the burning that once filled my heart and soul. The burn rises once and again, always on his name day. And then again on the day of his death. 

Men in black do not cry for those they have lost, for those they never possessed, for those they wished to keep to themselves away from the injustice that exists. Were I but a stronger man I may have avenged him. 

But I am not as strong as I once believed myself to be. I am not a man without desires or dreams. For dreams are all I have left of my desires. And one day I hope to join him. 

But not yet. Not now. When I have earned his forgiveness for ever having left his side, then perhaps I will be worthy. Until then I stay in this wasteland watching the red sun set in the West, praying softly for the day my turn comes and I am welcomed into his arms once again.

**Author's Note:**

> I know I should be working on my Anders/Mitchell but I hit a roadblock and I just started writing whatever came to mind... And that's how this happened. I hope to keep writing until inspiration strikes me again and I am able to finish Perks of Flight Delays. Thanks for your patience, and as always, your kind words are wonderful.


End file.
